2SLGBTQIA+ History and Identities in Canada

I started to understand what gender was when I was about two and three years old. I understood what a boy was and what a girl was. And that’s also when I started to understand that, you know… I was not a boy because my body was that of a boy’s, but I knew that just didn’t match. It wasn’t me. And I knew that I was a girl at that time. So I told my mom, and she said I could be anything that I wanted to, and she would love and support me no matter what, which was absolutely incredible. Eventually, so was my dad as well.

We grew up in a rural part of Ontario. It was about an hour or more out from the city. And because of that, we were very isolated. We had a very close-knit community and not too much exposure to the outside world. You know, the only problem with that sort of thing was that a lot of the people in that aforementioned rural tight-knit community really did not understand that sort of gender diversity, gender nonconformity. They didn’t understand my perspective and they thought that I was just confused. They would shame me.

Even when we went to CAMH, which was a doctor and psychologist’s office in Toronto, which was many hours away, even when we went there when I was 5, the doctor believed that my mom was attempting to force me to be a girl and that it wasn’t my own identity, but that I was just confused and that my mother was trying to force me to be something I wasn’t.

My own femininity was like, shamed. They wanted me to be masculine. So we moved to Kanata, where things were better, not perfect, but better. And of course, because of the new people around me and my new community, I was able to express myself. I started wearing wigs. I started wearing bright fancy colours and dresses and skirts and really expressing my femininity that I had wanted to for so long, and I wasn’t being shamed for it.

On top of this, and CHEO’s Identity Clinic was very vital and important, they provided a lot of information to people like me, wondering what path I should take in the future. They provided medication that was life-saving for me, where otherwise I’m not sure if I’d still be here today. And they provided a lot of knowledge for me and my family. Suicide rates for LGBTQ people are double that of normal rates. But if, let’s say an LGBTQ or like a trans child is accepted by their parents, like my parents were, if their parents are accepting, that suicide rate drops by 80 %. I’m just really grateful that my parents could be there for me, where even if something happened where I was being shamed or I was facing that sort of transphobia, I had someone to go back to, who loved me and supported me no matter what.

People love you, no matter what. You’ll find someone who loves you just for who you are. And whatever situation you’re in, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you know. You’re going to find friends, you’re going to find family. If you don’t, you know, have a supportive family, you’ll find someone who absolutely loves and supports you.

If nobody else in the world cares for you, I do. I care for you and I want to see… you alive, you know? I want to see you wake up the next day and just be here.